Tag Archives: depression

Changes

Here I am again, all! I don’t really know where to start with this post. The last time you heard from me I was in quite a bad place. While I can’t say that my life has magically turned into sunshine and cupcakes since then, I can say that I have spent the last few weeks sitting myself down, so to speak, to try and figure my life out. If nothing else, I have decided one thing for certain: I am not happy, and it’s about time that I change that. I used to think it was me, that I was totally in charge of my own happiness and that if I wasn’t happy, it didn’t have anything to do with my surroundings or what I was doing and that it was all my mindset. To a degree, I totally believe that to be true. However, I have realized that where I am and what I’m doing aren’t exactly the things I imagine myself doing in my dreams.

I have gone through four years of college, one of them in the perfect city of Thessaloniki, pursuing a Banking and Finance major only to realize that I have absolutely no desire to enter the banking industry.

I lived in Oxford for two years, absolutely miserable, then left for a year in hopes that the time away would allow me to gain a new perspective and appreciate the city, or at the very least push through my last two years here, only to end up in tears almost every night. This place brings me no joy, and the life I am living here is so out of sync with everything I want to be.

All this is to say, I am making a change. I don’t know exactly what my life’s purpose is, but I know that it isn’t banking and I know that it isn’t in Oxford, Mississippi.

I do know that I want to pursue my journey with Ashtanga yoga and I know that I want to help people. I have lived so long doing the things other people want me to do. My college choice, my major choice, how I look, how I act… almost everything I do or am is decided by anyone and everyone but me. This has caused me nothing but unhappiness and severe anxiety, and I don’t wish this on anyone in the world. I want to help people realize that all they have to do is what they want to do.

Everything you do should be in pursuit of your dreams. As long as you pursue your life’s purpose, everything will fall into place.

I have a strong feeling I’m about to make a very, very large leap of faith into something completely unknown and completely terrifying. But I know that I will come out on top.

Namaste, beautiful people.

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