Tag Archives: fitness

Hello Beautifuls

Finals week has finally come. My life for the next week will be reduced to little more than eating and staring at textbooks. And, as always, more yoga. Since I last wrote I believe I’ve maintained a steady 4 days/week and I’m fairly proud of that! I’ve started incorporating sequences from my Yoga Sequencing book when I don’t have a full hour and a half to devote to my primary series. I know it’s totally allowed to take a shorter Ashtanga practice, but I like doing these sequences because they incorporate poses I don’t get to do in primary. I can definitely see a significant improvement in arm strength over the past few weeks, which is odd because I haven’t necessarily done anything extra for my upper body. I suppose I am just now seeing a few new developments that have come from gradual strength development. Either way, I’m not complaining.

I also ran ten miles over four days this week! I’m proud of myself for getting four days in at the gym this week on top of four days of yoga. I don’t know where all this free time came from but I am thankful for it! I don’t see myself having this much time to devote to exercise next week, so I will probably just look to getting my four days of yoga in. That is more than good enough for me. I have a bad habit of getting disappointed in myself when I find the motivation/time to exercise more than usual and then can’t keep it up, but I am working towards realizing that I am putting effort in to my health to feel good about myself, not to achieve any sort of “goal.” There are no hard and fast rules for when I have to exercise or how often. I just need to do what makes me happy and what I have time for.

As always, my life has changed a bit since my last post. I am quitting my new job (I know, what’s wrong with me?) and I’m working at my bank again. I am happy with this decision, although I feel bad for not being able to keep a job AGAIN. I know it’s best for my professional and financial life, but I’ll be on the job hunt again after spring semester starts.

Anyway, this entire post is just for procrastination. There is only so much studying one can do at one time.

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On Balance and Taking up Space

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I promise one day my life is going to be free enough for me to resume blogging regularly. I have at least two partially written posts in my drafts and I’m currently writing this at work. My internship ends in two and a half weeks and I start school in a little under a month. If all goes well I won’t be working during the fall semester, so things should slow down shortly. And thank God for it. I love my job and I am so appreciative of the opportunity to get this experience so early on in my (inevitable) banking career, but spending my summer working 40 hour weeks, not to mention working out 6 days a week (meaning waking up at 5:30 am on weekdays), has WORN ME OUT. I’m tired. I’m cranky. I’m sure Sam is counting down the days I have left to work because I know his patience for my attitude recently is running thin.

Something else that is not at all positively contributing to my mood is my (slight) weight gain. Back in Greece I rarely ate out, I was doing cardio almost every day and I was smoking almost a pack of cigarettes a day. Since I’ve been home I’ve transitioned into (what I think is) a much better lifestyle. Unfortunately, we can’t cook where we live now, but I am making sure to eat regular amounts at regular times (most of the time), I’ve incorporated a lot of weight lifting into my workout routine and Sam and I are quitting smoking. As many times as I tell myself I’m doing good things for my body, I can’t help but freak out that it has caused me to gain a little bit of weight. We’re talking 2-3 pounds here, nothing major, but when you’re in a situation where you’ve spent years and years trying to get to a certain weight, when you finally get there (and have the motivation to stay there), a few pounds is everything. I know, I know, how many times have I said I’m going to stop worrying about my weight? It’s a process, guys. I’m trying.

I am having a lot of trouble balancing my responsibilities and my, well, me. I feel like I’m always either at work or being a girlfriend or a daughter. Working out just seems like something I have to do and not something that brings me any kind of happiness or accomplishment. In general, I just feel sort of uncomfortable with my current situation. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m not living in my own place. Right now I spend the majority of my time on one half of my bed in Sam’s room. I don’t have any of my own friends in Memphis. I feel like I’m taking up space I don’t belong in.

The more I write about this the more it is clear to me that I have to believe that I am a person who deserves to take up space. That’s what it all comes down to, isn’t it? Why else am I so determined to continue losing weight? What would losing five more pounds bring me? Another pant size down or inch less around my waist? What good will it do me more than focusing on being happy, healthy and STRONG? I don’t understand why I continuously base my worth over how much space I don’t take up. I’m sure that has so much more to do with my feeling out of place than my actual situation.

…Still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about living in my own house in Oxford. 8 Days!

The Picture that Changed a Life

I am about to share a photo that I never wanted any one else to see. It is the picture that inspired me to gain control of my life and finally not be the “bigger girl” I have been since I can remember. This picture was taken a little over a year ago, on my 20th birthday, making this the longest and most successful weight-loss attempt I have ever undertaken. I have been “dieting” and “trying to lose weight” on and off since high school, but I am now well under my 9th grade weight at this point. If you recall from my last post, this picture also inspired a lot of self-hatred and body image issues, a lot of which I’m still struggling with today, but I am so much happier and healthier than I was when I took this photo and started my journey to be the best me I can be. 🙂 So, no more stalling.

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It’s not a very good picture in terms of being able to tell how much I actually weigh, so I don’t know why this particular photo caused me so much pain. I have several other photos of me around the same time that make my weight much more obvious, and while they obviously suck to see, none of them affect me as badly as this one does. I think my face is what really bothered me the most. Here I am over 175 pounds. I’m 5’7″, so this is a considerable amount over the “healthy” weight range for BMI. This picture is still really hard for me to look at, considering all the emotions it caused in the following months.

Anyway, this was meant to be a happy post, not a depressing one. I’m looking forward now, not back. Here is what I look like today (excuse the terrible bed-head and messy room):

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Today was actually a surprisingly good “body” day for me. My measurements are finally creeping downward again after quitting keto. This picture honestly took me back for a second because it’s one of only a few that I can look at and say “damn, girl, you go.” The last time I checked, I weighed 135, but I imagine that went up a little bit from water weight. I’m trying not to care, especially since my measurements continue to go down. Plus, let’s be real here, I look damn good.

I also had another accomplishment today- my first outside run! I’ve been scouring through youtube for exercise videos for the past few weeks because I don’t want to get bored of doing the same ones over and over, but today I decided to take it outside. I’ve always been nervous to do any sort of exercise around other people. Here it is especially hard because so many people like to run along the boardwalk and I am in no way as in shape as most of the people I see out there. Today I just had to remind myself that I would probably never see any of those people ever again and that it didn’t matter if I looked like an idiot. I was actually surprised at how much running I could actually do (although there was also a fair amount of walking). I ran almost five miles (since I don’t have 3G on my phone I had to rely on google maps to tell me the distance) and afterwards I stopped on the boardwalk to do a little yoga before heading back.

So, there’s a little bit of my weight loss story. Fitness is something I am hoping to make a serious, permanent part of my life, so hopefully this won’t be the last of what I have to say on the matter.

Saturday Special: Soup of the Day (With a bonus breakfast success)

So, I’m on spring break right now. I still have two weeks to go and I am BORED. I think there are some people coming back from their trips next week, but I haven’t seen anyone in person since Wednesday. Rough stuff. It’s not all bad, though. I’m easily able to work out 6 days a week and spend hours on cooking my meals without worrying about what else I have to do that day. I’ve watched a LOT of TV (I’m on a Sister Wives kick right now) and played my ukulele nearly every day, so I am keeping busy enough. I also started a Giveit100 project for doing yoga. I have been doing yoga almost daily for a few weeks now anyway, but I thought it would be a good idea to take videos of my progress.  If you’ve never heard of this website before, go check it out. The videos are so motivational.

 

Today I made soup. Well, I tried to make soup. I used this recipe, but I added spinach, chicken and feta cheese. It turned out okay. It definitely would have been MUCH better pureed like the recipe called for, but I didn’t have the necessary equipment to do that. So, this is what I ended up with:

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As you can see, the soup on the recipe page is creamy, as in “creamy tomato soup” and mine is brothy. You know, you win some and you lose some. I’m just happy to have had a break from the chicken-breast-plus-veggie-cooked-in-butter dinner I’ve had for the past week. There are only SO many ways you can cook a chicken breast. 

Speaking of that, I ventured away from chicken breasts today. My grocery budget is more than enough to feed me, but the most expensive thing I buy BY FAR is the chicken breast (4 euros worth lasts me 3 days, yeesh), so I tried to buy some different cuts to try and save money. I bought two whole chicken legs (with the feet and all, gross) today for 3 euro. They were overall cheaper than the chicken breasts, but I ended up using an entire leg today, so they were actually a little more expensive and twice the work. I also found a package of chicken wings at the market for 3 euro, and I do think that was a good buy. Still, the chicken breast is definitely the simplest way to go, and those aren’t really that much more expensive, so I might just have to deal with it. 

I normally don’t go to the grocery store, but I do have to go every once in a while to buy a few things. This is what I picked up today:ImageYep, butter, bacon and cream cheese. I AM ON A DIET, people. Keto is amazing.

That chocolate syrup (made with stevia!) came in handy for my breakfast this morning. I conquered the pancakes!

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They were damn good, too. And it was beyond nice to have chocolate. I have had a mean sweet tooth all week long, so I’m really glad I was able to hold out until the weekend for these pancakes. I’m pretty sure they’re going to become my saturday morning breakfast staple, along with my other favorite breakfast item- fried eggs with chili powder. How acceptable would it be if I ate some form of egg for every meal? I would definitely do it if I could. I’m a little egg obsessed. I’m already looking forward to the bacon and eggs I’m going to have tomorrow for breakfast.